What if your child’s challenging behavior isn’t the real problem—but a signal that something deeper is getting in the way?

In this episode of What Great Teachers Know That All Parents Can Use, Peyten Williams talks with Dr. Ross Greene, clinical psychologist, bestselling author of The Explosive Child and Raising Human Beings, and creator of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model.

Instead of focusing on compliance, rewards, punishments, or consequences, he encourages parents and educators to ask a different question:

What expectation is this child having difficulty meeting—and what is getting in the way?

You’ll learn why behaviors like screaming, hitting, refusing, withdrawing, throwing things, or shutting down are often frustration responses rather than the true problem. Dr. Greene explains why children need to be heard, why solving problems in the heat of the moment rarely works, and how parents can work upstream by identifying and addressing problems proactively.

They also discuss why listening to children does not mean spoiling them, how assumptions like “lazy,” “defiant,” “entitled,” or “disrespectful” can damage communication, and why collaboration builds the real-world skills children need for relationships, school, work, and adulthood.

Dr. Greene also shares insights from his newest book, The Kids Who Aren’t Okay, including why schools need to pay more attention to developmental differences, unmet expectations, belonging, and the growing mental health challenges facing children today.

If you’ve ever wondered why consequences don’t seem to work, why your child keeps having the same meltdown, or how to respond to difficult behavior without becoming either punitive or permissive, this episode offers a powerful and practical shift:

Stop asking, “How do I make my child comply?” and start asking, “What problem do we need to solve together?”

Learn more about Dr. Ross Greene and access free Collaborative and Proactive Solutions resources at Lives in the Balance.