I start planning for December in… August.

In our family, we have a birthday on December 15th, 18th, 19th, and we also celebrate Jesus on the 25th, so December is a month full of cake.

And presents.

And parties.

And events.

And well…it’s a lot to plan for.

So I often feel very justified participating in the cultural trend where it’s fashionably funny for parents to joke about how chaotic and overwhelming this season is.

And I get it—see paragraph one. But I also think we have to be careful about what we complain about.

Because a lot of it is privilege.

A lot of it is unnecessary.

And a lot of it we can let go of—and in doing so, we might make our lives less stressful, more joyful, and actually enjoy this season again.

We don’t want to raise complainers. We want to raise thriving kids of character.

So how can we thrive in this season and model being the kind of person we want our kids to become? 

Let’s start with Maslow.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (A Quick Refresher)

Maslow’s hierarchy reminds us that humans—big and small—have layered needs. Ironically, a lot of what we stress over in December isn’t a need. And those stressors actually get in the way of fulfilling our needs, making the season unsatisfying at best.

Thriving happens when our needs are met.

Below is a simple way to use Maslow as a framework for a meaningful, peaceful December.

1. Physiological Needs

Sleep • Nutrition • Breath

In December, routines wobble. Bedtimes slide. Sugar increases. Activities stack up. And then we wonder why our kids melt down or why we’re short-tempered.

The answer is often simple:
It’s not a character issue. It’s a body need.

For Kids Ages 2–5

• Prioritize earlier bedtimes; overstimulation hits hard this month.
• Keep consistent meal and snack rhythms.
• Teach “square breathing”—inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four.

For Kids Ages 6–10

• Help them learn to recognize when they’re tired or overwhelmed.
• Build micro-breaks into busy days: a walk outside, a glass of water, a 5-minute room reset.

For Kids Ages 11–14

• Don’t assume older kids can self-regulate fully.
• Sit down with them weekly to map out sleep + school + events.
• It’s also exam season, so they need their sleep most of all now! 

2. Safety Needs

Emotional Safety • Family Predictability • Social Safety

The holidays amplify social interactions—extended family, school events, religious gatherings, gift exchanges.

Kids (and adults) do better when they feel anchored.

Create Predictability

• Share the weekly plan with your family.
• Name what is optional and what is required.
• Build in downtime and protect it.

Teach Inclusion

Safety isn’t only about protection—it’s about belonging.
This is the season to model:

• “Who can we include?”
• “Who is on the margins?”
• “Who might need a friend today?”

3. Love & Belonging

Hugs • Music • Connection Rituals

We’re wired for connection. And December gives us opportunities—if we take them.

Try These Simple Practices

• Hug your kids and your partner more often.
• Pick a family song and sing it together in the car.
• During your family meeting, start with compliments! 

4. Esteem

Competence • Agency • Pride

Give kids the chance to contribute—not just receive.

Build Esteem Through Gifting

• Let kids choose Christmas gifts for siblings within a budget.
• Have them help wrap the presents (imperfectly!).
• Let them pick something they love—even if it’s the world’s ugliest Christmas sweater.

5. Self-Actualization

Purpose • Service • Meaning

This is the highest level of Maslow’s hierarchy—and the one we often overlook in favor of material gifts.

But purpose is the gift that lights kids up from the inside.

Give the Gift of Service

• Let each child choose a charity and donate part of their “give money.”
• Serve as a family: bake cookies for a neighbor, write letters to teachers, help a younger sibling with something hard.
• Before making a wish list, have them make a give list:
  • one teacher
  • one family member
  • one friend
  • one stranger they want to bless

Everything else?
Just icing on the cake.

A Simpler, More Joyful December

If we slow down and meet the most basic needs first—sleep, safety, belonging—we create the internal conditions for gratitude to actually take root.

If we give our kids agency, generosity, and opportunities to serve, they grow in character—not just consumption.

And if we let go of the unnecessary and embrace the meaningful, we get to experience December not as a burden, but as a gift.

You’ve got this—truly.

With you in it,
Peyten

PS. Forward this post to someone you love!