10/7/2025

I don’t know about you, but quitting came naturally to me as a child. That’s one of the reasons why, I suppose, my parents decided that “Never Give Up” would be our family motto.

From a young age, my parents instilled grit in me by—yep—reminding us never to give up, praising stories of people who stuck it out through tough times, and showing movies like Rudy, The Mighty Ducks, and Swiss Family Robinson. By the time I was in high school, I had definitely developed some grit. Coaches described me as “full of heart.”

But that took time, encouragement, and practice. As a kid, I faked injuries, lied about studying, and did all sorts of childish things to get out of sticking with something hard.

I say this because it’s important for parents to remember: grit is something we develop—over time—through opportunities to face adversity and through the encouragement that helps us push through it.

Don’t be disappointed if your 7-year-old isn’t gritty yet. They haven’t had enough practice.

Angela Duckworth, who literally wrote the book on Grit, defines it as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” It’s not talent, but effort applied over time that predicts success.

Neuroscientists agree: each time a child works through frustration, the brain strengthens neural pathways for focus and self-regulation.

Or as Malcolm Gladwell put it, “Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good—it’s the thing you do that makes you good.”

And Stanford researcher David Yeager reminds us that grit grows best when kids see challenge as meaningful: “When students connect effort to purpose, persistence follows naturally.”

Simple Shifts to Build Grit

Ages 2–6: The Practice of Trying Again
At this age, grit begins with emotional safety. Young kids learn perseverance when they feel secure enough to try again after failing.  Praise effort and give feedback with the addition of “I am giving you this feedback because I believe in you.” This builds what Yeager calls a growth mindset for challenge—the belief that effort grows ability.

Try This: When frustration hits (“I can’t do it!”), name the feeling, pause, and model calm persistence: “It’s hard—and you’re learning.” Then help them take one small next step.

Ages 7–12: The Practice of Perseverance
Elementary-age kids start comparing themselves to peers. Help them see that progress beats perfection. Duckworth’s research shows that tracking effort fuels motivation more than tracking results. Try creating a visual—like a reading log or piano chart—to help them see growth.

Try This: When your child is discouraged, ask, “What did you learn from this try that will help next time?” That question turns setbacks into stepping stones.

Ages 13–16: The Practice of Purpose
Teens build grit when effort connects to purpose—something beyond themselves. Yeager’s studies show that adolescents persist longer when they believe their work contributes to their future or helps others.

Try This: Instead of “You need to study,” try, “How will this help you reach your goal?” Invite reflection and ownership—because grit grows best when it belongs to them.

With you in it,
Peyten

P.S. Wondering how to make perseverance stick in your child’s daily life? Schedule your free first coaching conversation—and let’s make grit a family value that lasts.

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A Gritty List of Films

Never Give Up Stories to Inspire

Every Friday, we do family movie night. It is one of our family traditions, and it’s gotten us a lot of mileage when it comes to character development. I love using other people’s stories to inspire character in my kids. Here is a list of some movies that inspire grit and practice.

• Rudy (PG) – The classic underdog story about determination and heart.
• The Mighty Ducks (PG) – A ragtag hockey team learns teamwork and resilience.
• Remember the Titans (PG) – True story of unity, leadership, and grit through adversity.
• Akeelah and the Bee (PG) – A young girl from South L.A. finds courage to compete nationally.
• The Karate Kid (PG) – Discipline and perseverance through mentorship and hard work.
• McFarland, USA (PG) – Cross-country coach inspires perseverance in his students.
• Soul Surfer (PG) – True story of Bethany Hamilton’s comeback after a shark attack.
• Cool Runnings (PG) – Jamaica’s first bobsled team learns to laugh, fall, and persist.
• The Rookie (G) – A late-bloomer baseball player gets a second chance through persistence.
• Chariots of Fire (PG) – Athletes pursue purpose and integrity in the face of challenge.
• Hidden Figures (PG) – Three women’s perseverance reshapes NASA and history.
• October Sky (PG) – A coal miner’s son pursues his dream to build rockets.
• Finding Nemo (G) – “Just keep swimming.” Enough said.
• Balto (G) – A sled dog’s courage and perseverance save an Alaskan town.
• Facing the Giants (PG) – Faith and persistence in the face of repeated failure.
• The Blind Side (PG-13, mild content) – Real-life story of perseverance through love and opportunity.
• Zootopia (PG) – A small bunny proves determination can break stereotypes.
• Mulan (PG) – Courage and grit redefine strength and honor.
• The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind (PG) – A young boy’s ingenuity saves his village.
• White Fang (PG) – A boy and a wolf-dog teach each other loyalty, courage, and endurance.