⚠️ Trigger Warning: This message discusses topics related to child safety, online predators, and pornography.

With Halloween around the corner, we’re inundated with spooky skeletons, pumpkins with jagged teeth, and scary costumes. But these don’t scare me. What scares me is the thought of someone harming my children.

When I was a classroom teacher, I was a mandated reporter, and every year I took a training on how to support students if they disclosed abuse. Even though I’m no longer in the classroom, I took an online training this year to keep my information up to date.

This recent training talked about risks for children, and the one that stood out the most to me was this: predators target kids who seem vulnerable and alone.

One of the best ways we can protect our children—both from people in real life and online—is to maintain a close relationship with our kids and equip them with age-appropriate knowledge about safety.

Online Safety Starts at Home

Experts like Ben Halpert (Savvy Cyber Kids) remind us that the internet is both powerful and dangerous: children need digital literacy just as much as they need street smarts. Halpert’s work helps families teach young children what’s safe to share, how to recognize “tricky people,” and when to ask for help.

Tatiana Jordan and the team at Bark Technologies add that today’s kids often encounter harmful content—even pornography—by accident, and those first exposures can shape their developing brains and beliefs about relationships. 

The goal isn’t to scare our children, but to empower them with the confidence and language to protect themselves—both online and offline.

I can’t say this enough. Relationships are protective. Your child’s relationship with you. Your child’s healthy relationships with their friends. Teach your child how to be in healthy relationships, how to set boundaries, and when and how they should say no. Your modeling these behaviors is an amazing first step, but not the last step. 

Conversation Starters by Age

Ages 4–7: “Tricky People” and Private Information

Use picture books to introduce safety in friendly, concrete ways. Explain that some people may pretend to be kind but have bad intentions. Teach them:

• Never share their name, address, or school online.
• Tell a trusted adult if anyone makes them uncomfortable—even if it’s online or in a game.
• Talk about touch and boundaries. Help your children feel comfortable saying no and deciding whether they want a hug.
• Never force your child to hug or touch another person against their will. Respect their no when it comes to touch. This helps your child be confident that they are allowed to have boundaries around their own body. 

Try reading:

• I Won’t Go With Strangers by Dagmar Geisler
• My Body Belongs to Me by Dagmar Geisler  
• The Berenstain Bears Computer Trouble by Jan Berenstain

Ages 8–12: Digital Footprints and Online Kindness

This is the “curious” stage—when camps, going over to friends’ houses, YouTube, group chats, and games expand their experience outside of your supervision. Discuss:

• Why it’s okay to say “no” or walk away from conversations or links that feel weird.
• What to do if they accidentally see something inappropriate.
• Start with making a family “screen contract.”
• Talk to them about what to do if they are in an uncomfortable situation.
• How photos and messages never fully disappear. 

Try reading together:

• Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. by Kristen A. Jenson

Ages 13–17: Pornography, Peer Pressure, and Trust

Teen brains are wired for risk and reward, which makes them vulnerable online. Conversations should focus on values, not just rules:

• How pornography distorts healthy intimacy and consent.
• How predators use flattery, secrets, and shame to isolate kids.
• How to protect their digital reputation and mental health.
• What to do if someone sends them or asks them to send a nude picture.

Try reading or listening together:

• Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids (family edition) by Kristen A. Jenson 

Final Thought

When parents stay close—emotionally, relationally, and digitally—children feel safe enough to tell us when something feels wrong. That connection is their greatest protection.

With you in it,
Peyten

P.S. Want to explore practical tools for your family?
Check out:

• savvycyberkids.org for age-based guides
• Bark Technologies for digital monitoring tools
• Common Sense Media for screen-time reviews and discussion starters
• Schedule a coaching session with me
• Invite Bowbend to do a workshop on this topic at your school.