A quick note before we begin: this newsletter is moving to once a month. And the reason is the same reason I’m writing this particular edition. I’m practicing what I preach.

Something I read that I can’t stop thinking about.

In Children of Paradise, Dr. Lee Hausner — a psychologist working with parents and children of wealthy families— observed that for many successful parents:

 “their energy is so well-focused, generally toward the single goal that has created their success, that they have minimal amounts left over for developing a healthy relationship with their family…. this management mentality, necessary as it may be in the professional jungle, is simply not conducive to effective parenting” (p. 12).

She’s not talking about bad parents. She’s talking about successful ones. And honestly? She’s talking about many of us, myself included.

You don’t have to be wealthy for this to apply. You just have to be busy. And most of us are very, very busy.

(Case in point: I used AI to help me draft this newsletter — not because I need it to be a good writer, but because I don’t have enough time. I bet you don’t either. More on that below.)

The research isn’t flattering — but it is clarifying for both us and our kids.

Sleep research tells us that chronically under sleeping makes us (parents and kids) lose emotional regulation first. And we all know how that goes. 

Multitasking, it turns out, doesn’t actually exist: what we call multitasking is rapid task-switching, and it reduces the quality of everything. 

And studies on phone use show that even a visible, untouched phone on the table reduces the quality of connection both people feel. 

Before you or your child signs up for one more thing.

Fall registration is coming — sports, lessons, clubs, enrichment. Before you click register, it might be fruitful to ask:

What can I say yes to if I say no to this? 

What the research consistently shows is that what children need most to thrive isn’t a longer activity list.

It’s a parent who is present. Regulated. Connected. Someone who knows them deeply and shows up with warmth and consistency over time.

That relationship is what forms character — not the travel team, not the coding camp, not the third language by age seven.

One of my favorite mentors, Sandra Stanley, says it this way: “It’s not no forever. It’s no for now.”

Can you find just one thing where you or your child can do less, let go, ask for help, or simplify? One intentional no makes room for something better.

What I’m doing — and how I’m offering my work going forward.

In the spirit of full transparency, here’s what slowing down looks like for me.

• This newsletter moves to monthly.
• Social media (@epdwilliams) will happen, but less consistently.

What I’m protecting is time and energy for the work I believe matters most: one-on-one coaching conversations with parents, and live workshops where real change actually happens.

To support you in between, I have my podcast — What Great Teachers Know That All Parents Can Use — where every episode brings practical, research-backed wisdom from educators to your kitchen table.

And soon, my book Paradoxes of Parenting: Spiritual and Practical Wisdom for Everyday Parenting will be available, along with a companion Bible Study Guide — for the moments when you’d rather read and reflect than talk.

Here’s how we can go slower together.

• Work with me 1:1 — If this newsletter hit close to home, a coaching conversation might be exactly what you need. Reply to this email or visit my website to learn more.
• Read the book — Paradoxes of Parenting is coming soon. Learn more and get updates
• Listen to the podcast — Find What Great Teachers Know That All Parents Can Use wherever you listen, or visit my website to explore episodes and recommended resources.
• Host a workshop — Live, practical, and designed for parents who are ready to do something different.

With you in it,

Peyten

P.S. Not sure where to start? Send me an email. I’d love to help you figure it out.

Bowbend Recommends

 

Children of Paradise

Successful Parenting For Prosperous families

I am currently reading this book, and while it is old (published 1990!) there are some golden nuggets in here. 

Want an updated text that addresses a similar topic?

Try Jennifer Breheny Wallace’s Never Enough.