Growing up, I just assumed I would always have kids. But I never really paused to ask why.

Why did I actually want to have a family? What is the point? What are we trying to build over the long haul? How do my faith and values actually show up in my parenting on a random Tuesday at 7:42pm?

Maybe you can relate.

And here’s the good news: it’s never too late to name your WHY. It’s never too late to establish your family’s long-term vision. And it’s never too late to more deeply live your faith, values, and purpose as a parent.

Develop Your Long-Term Vision

If you want to become a Strong and Kind parent, we start here: Develop and know your Long-Term Vision grounded in faith, values, and purpose.

Why this matters (and the research behind it)

One of my favorite education coaches, Elena Aguilar, describes the power of being anchored in purpose. She writes, “Being anchored in purpose makes you able to deal with setbacks and challenges.” (Onward)

She reminds us that when we’re clear on what matters most, we can:

• stop taking everything personally
• pick battles with wisdom
• recover faster after hard moments
• use our time and energy on purpose, not just on pressure

And it turns out, it’s better for our health to live aligned with our values.

“Our values orient us, drive us, and anchor us. We experience integrity when we act in alignment with them. When our actions are not aligned with our values, it doesn’t feel good…. Interestingly, psycho-neuroimmunologists find that our immune systems are strengthened or depleted by the degree of integrity with which we live our lives. When we act in ways that are out of alignment with our values, we physically don’t feel good. ” (Onward)

And from Setting Parents Free by Dr. John L. Cox, this line is a gut-check in the best way: “The most powerful way in which children learn anything is through what they experience. This means, sadly, that they’re going to get a very core sense of values through watching how we relate to them and other people.”

In other words: your long-term vision isn’t just for you. It becomes a felt experience your children absorb over time.

Ready to start? Take the Long-Term Vision Parenting Quiz

If you’ve never named your “why” (or it’s gotten fuzzy), this is your next step.

 Take the Long-Term Vision Parenting Quiz (link)

In just a few minutes, it’ll help you clarify your purpose and how that informs your long term vision:

• your faith foundation (what you’re living from)
• your core values (what you’re living for)
• the kind of person you want to be now… and in 15 years… and as a grandparent

And at the end, you’ll get a next step you can practice this week.

How can I practice Step 1 this week?

Grab a post it note and choose one of these to complete. Put the post-it on your fridge this week! 

1. Write your family’s one-sentence “why.”
   “We are the kind of family who ________.” (Keep it simple. You can revise later.)
2. Choose 3 anchor values. 
   (Examples: courage, integrity, compassion, self-control, hospitality, perseverance, humility, curiosity.)
3. Pick one “future snapshot.”
   Imagine your child at 25. What do you hope they say you were like as a parent? What do you hope they say your home felt like?

If you want help building this into a clear family vision (without it becoming one more overwhelming “should”), reply to this email and tell me: “VISION”—and I’ll send you a few options for next steps and support.

With you in it,
Peyten

Wish you could take a class with your partner or friends?

Invite me to your school or place of worship to facilitate a Long Term Vision Workshop.

Bowbend Recommends: Handwriting!

Why Handwriting Still Matters: Brain Development, Literacy, and Learning with Holly Britton from Squiggle SquadPodcast Episode, January 15 In this episode of What Great Teachers Know That All Parents Can Use, we’re joined by handwriting instruction specialist Holly Britton to explore why handwriting still matters, especially for elementary and middle school students growing up in a digital world.

You’ll gain practical insight into what to look for, how to support your child without frustration, and why handwriting instruction is about much more than neatness.